having anxiety is like being given permanent unwanted custody of a halter arabian. like okay buddy is it panic time again. cool you probably need more exercise and an apple and then maybe you’ll calm down.
taking my stupid walks for my stupid mental health with my stupid hypervigilant brain horse
thoroughly enjoying the notes on this post because it’s equal parts people with anxiety going “yeah that’s what it’s like” and people with arabians going “yeah that’s what they’re like”
movies where someone hears an important message only once and retains all the details….
girl if that were me, we’d be fucked. I have to reread emails like 4 times.
if it were me having to repeat my dead father’s instructions on destroying the death star:
I was in a college psych class, and the teacher was doing some kind of exercise about memory, patterns, and retention. He began with, “for instance, if I asked you what number the first letter of your name is in the alphabet, you wouldn’t be able to tell me right aw–”
“Ten,” I said.
“What?”
“J. J is ten,” I said again.
He stared at me.
“I happened to learn it while looking at the alphabet when I was five or six, and it just stayed in my brain,” I told him.
Then we did an exercise on retention. “I’m going to tell you a story,” he said, “and then I’m going to send you out of the room for five minutes, and when you come back, you have to repeat as much of the story back to me as possible.”
He told me a long and meandering story with no plot or structure, just a random series of events, place names, actions, etc. Then he sent me out of the room.
I looked at the wall for a while.
He called me back in five minutes later, stood me up in front of the class, and asked me to repeat “just as much of the story as you remember.” Apparently while I’d been gone he’d been telling the class about how eyewitness accounts aren’t reliable because people don’t remember things well after a certain period of time.
So I told his story back to him– not verbatim, but certain phrases were exact– and watched the consternation in his face as I accidentally blew up his (valid! and extensively studied!) lesson about how bad people’s retention is.
“It’s like a song,” I tried to explain to him, and the class. “Or a poem. Every part of the story has a little tag to remember it. I looked at the chalkboard while you were saying this part. My leg itched while you were saying that part. A chair squeaked during the next part. Then I just have to come back and go over all the sensations that I had while you were”
“Sit down,” he said.
I sat.
Turns out I’m Autisms Georg adn should not have been counted
ADHD version: A friend asked, on a field trip, why I knew the scientific name for Caltha palustris, “Well, we did that [one week long] field ID course [three years previously] and we saw it in one of the bogs”.
This, I was informed, is very much not a normal reason to remember the scientific name of a plant for the rest of your life.
It took me five whole years to learn when my partner’s birthday is.
My entire life experience with my wife is me remembering obscure bits of trivia that my brain has no reason to hold on to, but having to ask her what kind of car she has every few days.
you ever listen to a playlist and all of the sudden a song that has incredible blorbo energy comes on you’re you’re just like this
[image Description: a simply drawn person is wearing headphones and looking bored. Then their eyes dilate in amazement and they think “blorbo”. End ID]
